Fear says "what if"
Faith says "even if"
The morning I received the call, that my oldest child was in the hospital, I didn't realize that I was being held up, by strong arms. God had things for me to do, and so He filled me with his peace and presence, without my even realizing it. When the shock came, along with the news of my son's death, God strengthened me in my need.
The day after the death of my son, my car broke down in a grocery store parking lot, and wouldn't start again. At this point, though I had tried to have faith through the ordeal, I glanced up at the sky and said, "Really, God? You couldn't have given me just a bit more grace, knowing what I had just gone through?" I felt what seemed like a gentle hug to my soul, and I admitted, "Okay, God... I know that you will never waste a moment. Even in this, you have a plan."
The tow truck driver seemed to sense that he could confide in me. He shared, in frustration, "My sister is dying of cancer... and it's killing me." I glanced over at him and said softly, "You know... if you had shared this with me the day before yesterday, I might not have understood how you felt, but... my son died yesterday morning. I think I have a better idea of what you are going through." At this point I had his full attention. His heart was ready to receive anything God might say.
I said to him, with the conviction that God was placing on my heart, "When my car broke down in the parking lot, I could have tried my best to get it to the shop by myself. But I couldn't do it. It is way too heavy for me." As we pulled up to the repair shop, I continued, "I needed your help to get it here." The man who had opened his heart up to me was listening, and so I added, "You and I have a burden that is way too heavy for us to carry on our own. We simply can't do it. We need God's help, to carry so much pain." I then promised him, "If you will reach out to God, he'll hear you... he'll respond." The tow truck driver looked over at me, saying, "I think I'll be considering your words."
Through the death of my son I learned that the Lord is willing to meet us in our need, even before we realize that we are in need. He may use us to bless others, even in the midst of our own pain. He is faithful...always.